10 Things

As I grow increasingly uncomfortable and stressed out in these last weeks of pregnancy I've realized that I need something to actively take me away from the many complaints I want to make. It's difficult to stay positive and optimistic when everything I do hurts, or when I can't sleep at night because all I can think about is how I want to hear something back on one of Jason's many job applications... See? There I go.

When I was younger and journal writing was something that everyone was pushing as the only way to record your life's history, I often remember feeling like I had nothing to write about. It was true most of the time; the life of a bookworm teenager usually isn't all that interesting. To help, my mom would tell us to write five things we were grateful for as our entry for the day. I'm sure my lists weren't all enlightening. I distinctly remember writing several times that I was grateful for my bed... or for tennis (my high school sport of choice). I'm going to take this a step further and begin writing down 10 positive things about a specific aspect of my life. I think it will help me to remember how blessed I truly am and force myself to analyze things a little differently. For the debut: my husband.

Jason:

1. He is comfortable being a dad. He can do everything for Troy that I can do. A lot of times he can do it better.
2. He lets me be me. He hasn't tried to "change" me to be what he wants, though I'm sure we've both changed just a little since our wedding day. If he has tried to change me, he's done it most excellently, as I haven't noticed a thing. 
3. He is a very hard worker. His norm is to give 110% at work all the time. In addition, he very often takes on overtime work to make extra money to provide more for our family. He has built positive relationships with his superiors and co-workers that will (hopefully, fingers crossed) result in a better career position for him soon.
4. I love that he wants to do the handy work and heavy lifting for me. I'm a pretty independent person, but have recently started to take a step back and let him do things for me.
5. I appreciate that he doesn't have any "vices" that take him away from important things. I consider myself a pretty easy-going wife and I let him do pretty much whatever he wants, but he is very considerate when it comes to his man time. He never plays video games if there's something to be done or if there's something we can do together instead. He doesn't do guys' nights hardly at all, and he always asks me what plans are for the evening so he can plan his workouts/errands/whatever accordingly.
6. Bright blue eyes.
7. Since Troy was born he's taken a turn for the awesome with his health. He made the choice to lose weight, practice better eating habits, and exercise regularly. I'm glad he made this choice for himself and proud of the success he's had.
8. He used to request that I make his favorite meatballs for dinner-- now he makes them better than I do.
9. He's gone from wanting to live his entire life in one town to being open to the idea of moving away. I grew up traveling and loved it, and am happy that he's willing to try something new and exciting. There are lots of fun adventures to be had.
10. He talks to me as his equal. We hold conversations about everything from politics to personal dreams to work to celebrity gossip. When we get on a kick we can go for hours. We agree and disagree about things without putting each other down and learn more about each other every time.

Was that 10 already?! I'm a lucky girl.

The Non-Issue Issue

Democratic pundit Hilary Rosen recently unleashed a torrent of debate and criticism when she claimed that Presidential candidate Mitt Romney's wife Ann "has never worked a day in her life." This has drawn major backlash from both Republicans and Democrats. There are so many aspects to this "issue" that I have been thinking about over the past several days and I've decided to use my blog as a way to sort out my thoughts. First, Rosen's comment was out of line. It was harsh, insensitive, and a direct personal attack where none was needed. Second, if looked at in context, I can see where she was going with it. While I don't agree with the way it was brought up and conveyed, Rosen's assertion has made me think a little.

I don't know Ann Romney. I haven't researched her, I don't know her educational background, if she's involved in any charitable organizations... I don't even think I know what she looks like. I have to use my own experiences to put myself somewhat in her shoes. She chose to be a stay-at-home mom. She chose to have five--count them, FIVE--children. (When I say "she," I mean Mitt and she).

I also have chosen to be a SAH mom to tend to my soon-to-be brood of two. It's not an easy job. I often envy my husband that he's able to to get away and out of the house every day. My work of being a mom and housekeeper is never-ending. I don't get breaks, there's always something that needs to be fixed or cleaned, a bum that always needs to be wiped, or a temper tantrum that needs to be dealt with. Not to mention the psychological stresses that come from being completely burned out on mommy-ing and the inevitable guilt that comes from feeling like I'm not contributing because I'm not contributing to the bank account. Or how I feel like I'm being lazy if I choose to sit for half an hour to read a book or look at superfluous articles online. Or how I don't have the time to exercise like I want or have "me time" so my attitude adjusts towards the positive. Or the fact that I would need to be working 40+ hours per week just to cover daycare and transportation expenses and maybe then have an extra hundred bucks to use towards other bills. (A lot of times it doesn't pay to work when you have kids, and that has been something incredibly frustrating for me.) So, yes, being a stay-at-home parent is hard. There are probably a lot of people that would blast me for saying so. It's all relative. I can't relate to a single mom who works full-time because I've never been in that position. I have no doubt that other parents are in more stressful situations than I.

HOWEVER!!! However, I have not worked outside my home for career experience or a salary in three and a half years. My cover letter's looking a little sparse nowadays. The point that Rosen was so distastefully trying to make was that Mrs. Romney doesn't have much on her resume to attest to her being a tried and true political adviser or consultant to Mitt's campaign. She is somewhat removed from what most female voters are experiencing today because most mothers work outside the home.

True. I agree that her lack of holding an official capacity will draw working mothers away from her.

But this is where I found myself floundering on this so-called issue again. As my husband's partner, I am informed about the issues just by association. We discuss things, we problem solve together, we brainstorm. I'm sure Ann is intimately involved with Mitt's campaign because they have been married for so many years and have built their business together. They have gotten where they are together. How can she not have experience, even if it's not been made official on W-2 statements? While I don't think that she necessarily qualifies for an official "adviser" title, I don't think she should be written off as inexperienced. Nor should anyone claim that she has "never worked a day in her life." 

Why do I care? I don't really know. I've given up on politics because it's all petty bickering that doesn't seem to help me, the taxpayer, at all. Democrats are going to spit at Republicans just because they sit on different sides of the floor, and vice versa. Everyone's just going to keep yelling at each other and starting fires. Maybe it's because I can relate to the SAH mom thing. I know it's not easy and I would not want someone asserting to the public that I didn't know what it was like to have to work. Whatever. It's a non-issue that has been dragged into the spotlight and maybe I'll stop thinking about it now that I've written some of my thoughts down. Move on!