A Sacred Vow

I remember when I first started college and was introduced to the atmosphere of professors pushing marriage in every class and guys proposing to the first gal they dated. Education aside, I started to watch those who I knew were dating (and thus getting married soon) to chart their progression into eternal bliss. Girls started out pretty: they did their hair in elaborate Utah bumps, applied makeup several times a day, flashed huge smiles at every male in the vicinity, laughed loudly. Men started out handsome: they showered and combed their hair, made an effort to match, and inserted themselves into the view of aforementioned girls. Girls and guys continued to dress up for each other throughout the dating and engagement period, then out of nowhere, they became unrecognizable. I was able to follow this as a natural occurrence in the Love Cycle at the university. Normally around week three of marriage I saw that the girls quit putting on makeup and arrived to classes in sweatpants and baggy t-shirts. The guys inevitably started putting on weight soon after. Was this phenomenon due to a recent lack of sleep (wink wink)? Or was there something else at work? It wasn't hard to figure out this answer, in fact, I think I had it nailed down within a semester or two. Once a couple is married--they're stuck! They don't have to look nice for each other anymore because there's no getting rid of them anymore! I found it was the attitude of "Well, he married me, and this is what he gets now." Sad, huh? Then and there I vowed to never let this happen to me.

I can't say that I was immune to this strutting and posturing when I was single. I did my hair religiously (though, fortunately, I was never a fan of the bump), made sure my makeup was in tact before classes, and tried to give "friendly" smiles to guys I met. None of these things happened to work towards getting me dates however, and I decided it wasn't worth it after a while. I started not to fret as much--I didn't let myself go, I did what I had always been doing, just without the thought of a potential date in mind. (It's funny how men start to notice you when you don't care about them anymore... they can sense it or something.) Of course, I met my husband after I had sworn off men and the story continues from there. So fast forward--Jason and I start dating. I'm still watching the progress of couples to keep tabs on their appearance pre- and post-marriage. My vow to never let myself go was still fresh in my mind, though I made sure that Jason saw me without my hair and makeup done several times while we were dating so he knew EXACTLY what he was getting himself into.
My vow still stands today, I think, even after five years of marriage. Though I had an upsetting shock this morning when I looked into the mirror. I saw the most horrendous brownish-yellow circles around my eyes. These aren't new, unfortunately, but today I took a minute to stare at myself and study what's happening to me. Besides my bruised-looking eyes, I realized that I haven't been to the gym in two months, it takes me most of the day before I get dressed, I don't wear makeup half the time, and I can take or leave my hair. I was disappointed in myself. I've always subconsciously attributed a lack of physical grooming to a lack of self confidence or laziness. I'm not lazy and every woman I know suffers from some sort of confidence issue. Most of my lettings-go I can blame on my pregnancy: I've been too sick and exhausted to make it to the gym, I outgrew my bra which has left me uninspired to to wear anything but PJ pants and a hoodie, I'm too tired to care about putting on my makeup and doing my hair. I hope the second trimester (which starts this week) will prove to be a better-feeling one so I can get somewhat back to normal. Even though I know I have a legit excuse for looking like crap, I still can't reassure myself that it's OK. I'm ashamed that I've let myself fall into this category. Since this is the perfect time to think of New Year's resolutions, I found mine: get up! I need to start taking pride in myself again and the best way for me to do this is to go back to my old self. My confidence is boosted when I'm presentable and I have a much more productive day after my personal grooming is done. These small steps will surely lead to bigger personal leaps down the road.

I'll raise my glass to that.

Rant of the Week

I just gotta put this out there: I'm so sick of pop culture!!! Justin Bieber, Twilight, and Lady Gaga all need to lay down and go away for good. Really?? People are so obsessed with all these "celebrities" and fads. It's embarrassing to see full-grown women screaming about how hot this 17-year-old BOY is. And then I have to automatically assume people think I am also into this stuff and that makes me even more embarrassed. I feel like I have to publicly denounce all this crap and I'm glad my husband knows where I stand ("No, honey, I don't think scrawny, white vampires that get all sparkly in the sun are attractive.") And when you turn on the news---it's all you hear about! What outrageous outfit sparked controversy, that couple is divorcing two hours after the reception ended, that one can't keep them self out of rehab/jail, and oh-my-gosh she's pregnant! no wait, she's not... I'm waiting for the day when the Sexiest Man Alive is a real-life non-actor from the suburbs.

The news in general is very negative, so I love to read stories of people who are making positive differences in their communities and in the world at large. Most of the time they're not trying to get on the front page (most of the time they're not, see page D12). I read a story a few months ago about a man who saw a child being forced into a van. He jumped in his truck, took off, and eventually rescued the kidnapped child. What a hero! I certainly hope someone like that is around should my child ever be in trouble. I think of all the people who donate time out of their busy lives to volunteer at hospitals, animal shelters, and soup kitchens. They make a difference.

My dream job is to work for an international humanitarian company. I'd love to be able to provide assistance and necessities to those in regions not as blessed as ours. My plans for after graduating college were to join the Peace Corps and fly off to some obscure corner of the world to provide drinking water and vaccines for kids. Of course, plans change when you get married. ;-) I'm at a depressing point where I feel like I'm not doing anything productive in the world and look forward to the day when I can donate time, money and supplies to people in need.

To loop it all back, there are plenty of famous people out there who have foundations, or donate their money to causes, or are charitable ambassadors. Good for them. They're setting a good example. It's all the other BS I'm tired of. It seems the masses nowadays are so easily grabbed and brainwashed into trends and will believe they should be involved in the moment because the media says so. Political commentators have cult/sheep followings and half the "news" on my Yahoo! page is what gown Kate wore to the Queen's party. I wish it were easier to filter through all that and get to the real stuff. *Sigh* Oh, and did you hear that Kourtney Kardashian is pregnant again?

...To the Death

Paul Ezra Rhoades of Idaho Falls brutally killed three people, two young women and a young man, in 1987. Today he was executed by the State of Idaho. It's Idaho's first execution in 17 years.

Normally I like to stay away from political topics. Things get heated, I tend to hold grudges against those who disagree with me, a lot of times I don't really care about the topic at hand, I don't like when people repeatedly shove their "opinions" down your throat, the sheep mentality... BUT I do think this is an interesting topic: you've got Bible thumpers sitting on both sides, liberals and conservatives arguing over terms like "humane" and "justice", and victims' loved ones struggling between finding closure and reliving the nightmare.

John Grisham has written a few books revolving around the death penalty. The latest I've read is The Confession, where the State of Texas executes the wrong man after the real killer comes forward. Whether or not you're for the death penalty, it makes you think. It made me wonder how many times the wrong person has been executed while the true culprit gets to live. I think it happens rarely, if at all, with all our wonderful advances in technology. Things like DNA evidence, microscopic details that can be computer analyzed, and pyscho-analyses have come such a long long way since even 15 years ago. In a society that uses the death penalty, it's bound to happen unfortunately. This book made me feel sad for innocent men and women who went to their "justified" deaths for crimes they did not commit. On the flip side, it made me feel that there are crimes so heinous that deserve death.

Back to Rhoades: they were grisly murders and I'm not going to go into detail about them here. I ache for the families that had to endure the pain of knowing their loved one had been terrorized and in pain before dying. I feel so sorry that these innocent, young lives were cut short by a sadistic, psychotic druggie. What would they be doing now, I wonder? Rhoades has been sitting in jail, eating and getting fat, for free, for twenty-four years. They knew he was the serial killer they were looking for when they caught him. There was a comment on our local news' website that said something like, "Justice was served when they caught him." I heartily disagreed with that.

I don't want to go into much detail on whether I'm for or against gettin' the chair, but I did want to lay out a few thoughts I've had the past few days. Whether or not citizens of the USofA believe the death penalty is right, it comes down to the fact that many states (and other nations) have adopted it as a legal way to uphold the law. Thus, it is the states' responsibility to uphold the laws and punishments set forth. If you commit a crime, it's understood that there are certain repercussions for when you get caught. Execution has been deemed appropriate in many cases and it is the states' prerogative to carry it out.

Also, I believe that executions serve two purposes, both of which I will say I agree with. One: As awful as it sounds, it serves as retribution. Vengeance, revenge, whatever you want to call it. If you want to get down to the nitty-gritty, any form of punishment, whether it be incarceration, community service, or probation, is one form or another of retribution. Criminals forfeit their rights and, subsequently, owe society a debt when they break a law. Execution is, of course, the extreme and is maintained for certain horrible crimes. If I had lost a family member to someone like Rhoades I'm pretty sure I would want to see the criminal dead.

Actually, I'm 1000% sure.

Two: Execution removes the threat. While these criminals are alive there is always the possibility, however remote, that they will be free someday, somehow. A while ago, there were a few inmates from one of the prisons here in Idaho that escaped. Scar-ree. Inmate escapes happen more often than we care to think about and whether or not they're caught again is moot. Early probation is often given to criminals for good behavior, which means they're OUT, amongst the public. With serial killers, rapists, pedophiles, etc... there's the possibility that they will hurt someone else if they're not being supervised and behind bars. I believe that those sentenced to execution are done so in part because the jury believes them to be a threat to others if they remain alive.

Our justice system seems to have gone down the sad path of victimizing the criminals and trying to make the victims into they-had-it-coming's. There are arguments and studies out everywhere for and against genetic predispositions to alcoholism, violence, and the like. This is another opinion I have no problem exerting: I think genetic predisposition is a crock of sh**. It all comes down to people have the CHOICE. We all have an instinctive buzzer inside us that tells us when we're committing wrong. Rhoades had the choice to kill or not kill (or rape, or maim) those innocent people. I can choose whether or not to snort that line, an abusive parent consciously makes the decision to harm their child.

It's all about self control. Lack of control brings consequences on all levels. I can't say I feel sorry for people whose lack of control harms others. They made the choice, and in doing so, chose their fate.

So... people can argue all they want about the death penalty being wrong or right. It doesn't matter. Our laws have deemed it legal (therefore, executions cannot be said to be illegal) and a proper consequence for certain actions. If you don't like it, move.

To Be or Not To Be... Lazy?

I think the fact that I haven't written in two months argues in behalf of TO BE. I had originally planned on writing twice a week for this blog so I could have something do for myself, that was just my own thoughts and opinions. Alas, time gets away from all of us, especially when we're busy NOT being lazy. There was an article in one of my magazines that inspired thoughts on this post. From Elder Robert D. Hales in the LDS church magazine The Ensign:

"I remember a young couple just out of college. One parent gave them a home; the other parent gave them furnishings and a new car. They had everything in the world given to them. Within three years they were divorced. They hadn't worked and sacrificed. They had leaned on each other and on their parents as a crutch, had crippled themselves, and hadn't grown. They hadn't learned the hard part."

I abhor laziness. I believe people should work to support themselves financially, mentally and physically. I don't believe in sitting in front of the TV; I don't agree with about 90% of the welfare system; I don't believe in others being obligated to fill your shoes as well as their own. This is an extreme. I acknowledge that there are always exceptions, however exceptions aren't normally made because of laziness. In fact, the only reason I can think of is an exception made due to a medical reason: disability, injury, old age, etc... The quote above started me thinking of everything I do for myself, by myself. I don't think that all situations in which people receive handouts are going to resolve themselves in something as extreme like divorce, but I do think that his quote rings true. If we don't work and learn the hard way, when will we learn?

For example, I babysit full-time. I took the job thinking it would be an easy way to work AND be lazy at the same time. I'd just let them play all day, provide some entertainment, snacks, tralala go home. It has proven not to be easy and conducive to laziness at all unfortunately. I digress... The kids I babysit are the youngest of 5. Their family dynamics are much different than ours. They play differently, talk differently, the works. Among this, they don't do much of anything for themselves. Their parents and siblings do absolutely EVERYTHING for them. Taking off shoes, cleaning up toys, using manners and the like are things we do on a normal basis at our house and I think it's been a bit of a culture shock for them. I MAKE them do things for themselves. I do not allow whining; I expect them to use their p's & q's; they speak to me respectfully; they do not fight and yell over toys. There are consequences for not handling yourself properly. I have seen major improvements in their demeanor since they've started at our house, the biggest thing is that they're more independent. I'm pretty sure they like doing things like big boys, all by themselves.

As adults it's the same process. We need to do things on our own to really learn the lesson. My mom has always said there are two kinds of people in this world: Givers and Takers. Givers are normally those who have learned their lessons on independence and seek to help those who are still learning, and those who enjoy giving for the enhancement of others and themselves. Takers, I've discovered, haven't quite gotten there. (Sometimes these personality traits are personality quirks, there's nothing we can do to change them, no matter the lessons learned or un-learned.) There is a balance between giving and taking, no one has to fall completely on one side or the other. My mom and I are both Givers. We feel uncomfortable taking because we're afraid it might inconvenience someone, or put them out, even when they're offering. It makes it hard for other Givers if we're always unwilling to accept what they want to give us. Slowly but surely, I have been trying to get better at taking. I am grateful for the Givers who have blessed my life. People who are constant Takers have the expectation that Givers are always going to be around. They expect that they can ask for what they want and take it, whether it be time, money, space, or other things. The extreme Givers feel obligated to meet this expectation.

I make a conscience effort to give via support. When I make the kids do something on their own that they haven't done before, I show them how and then encourage them from the sidelines, praising them when they've accomplished the feat. I think this could be replicated on all aspects of life. (I'm not trying to set myself up as a perfect mom or babysitter--I am far, far, far from that.) People will learn to support themselves through their hard times and come out stronger and wiser for it. They will like that feeling of independence and the satisfaction that comes from, "Yeah, I totally did that." And all us Givers can give them a high-five and slap on the back, tell them how proud we are, and welcome them to the club.

I Remember

Today is 10 years since the tragic events of September 11, 2001. I was 15 and a junior in high school. We found out in Seminary that something had happened in New York but we weren't quite sure what. By the time I got the first period at the high school the towers had collapsed and hundreds of people had already died. We watched TV all day and saw the timelines, the replays, photos, interviews, speculations.

I remembered we weren't even horrified yet... we were in such shock. It's hard for teenagers to understand something so tragic happening on the other side of the country. I think it finally sunk in when the body counts went into the thousands. We had been attacked in our own land, our free nation. I remember thinking, "War doesn't happen HERE, it happens everywhere else." News anchors kept calling it the "Pearl Harbor of our day."

I remember calling my mom at home from the payphone by the gym. I was terrified that Dad was going to be whisked off to war right away. I was scared that something was going to happen in Yuma. I'd been hearing rumors that Yuma was on the terrorist hit list because it's the location of Yuma Proving Ground and the Marine Corps Air Station. Yuma is also home to a very long runway that is an alternate site for the space shuttle landings. I was worried something was going to happen and I wouldn't have been able to be with my family again.

The news images are seared into my brain. The plane coming around the second tower and the collision. People throwing themselves out of windows. The towers collapsing while thousands were still trapped inside. The firemen and police officers rushing into the debris. People staggering out of the rubble coated in dust, soot, and blood. The flag.

Fred Child hosts Performance Today on NPR and I only ever listen if it happens to be on while I'm in the car. I was driving on Friday and he was doing a reminiscing piece about what went on at his radio station on 9/11. They were requested to play Samuel Barber's Adagio for Strings to help America to mourn. It is a sad, melancholy piece. I cried in the car as they were playing it and remembering everything that happened a decade ago.

May God bless everyone who lost their lives and those who were left picking up the pieces.

May God bless the firemen, policemen, and all our servicemen.

May God bless America. This is His land.

Get a (Private) Room!

We decided to go on San Diego harbor cruise with my parents while we were visiting last month. It's kind of a cheesy, touristy thing to do but we had a good time nonetheless. So let me take you through it: You board the ship, get a complimentary glass of champagne (Martinelli's for us) and are seated. If you chose to pay extra during booking then you are seated at a window-side table for two, complete with special plates, champagne flutes, etc... We did not choose this option, so we were one table away from the windows in our cheapskate non-specially plated table. We shove off, the live band starts, socialization, appetizers, dinner, dancing, blah blah blah... It was fun for about five minutes until the man sitting across from us (at one of the "special" tables) moved his chair over and into the walkway so he could sit right next to his woman. PDA quickly followed (cue horror movie music). Obviously, this atmosphere lends itself to romance: pretty views, music and alcohol. Ah, love.

First, let me say that I believe in love. I believe that love is a positive and complex feeling that two people can have for each other. Physical affection is a natural byproduct that is necessary to propel and maintain relationships. Affection and sex are crucial for successful marriages. I believe these manifestations of love are special, private matters between the couple (unless, of course, there's problems that need to be discussed with professionals, but that's another topic). That being said, public displays of affection should, I think, be limited. Stifled? No. Just...limited. Holding hands, a peck here and there, little things that don't make others uncomfortable.

Let me go into detail about the PDA that grosses me out, specifically what we had to witness ALL NIGHT during our harbor cruise: making out for prolonged periods of time (more than three seconds); ear nibbling; sitting on laps (include arms around the other's neck for double gross-out); foot massages (bare feet in a food establishment?!); butt grabbing; cheesy "come-hither-just-wait-til-later" looks; seductive licking of the lips; the list goes on. When we first sat next to this couple we knew immediately that they were in love by the way they were, er, showing their affection. We thought they'd settle down after a few minutes.

Nope!!

We got to watch them all night, as they were sitting right in front of the window that was in our line of vision. So we stared, shot dirty glances, quit muffling our giggles and comments. This couple wasn't the only one on the cruise feeling a little frisky, however they were the most forward and long-lasting. By the end of the cruise she was hiccuping champagne bubbles and tried to shove her way in front of me to disembark. I took my opportunity to shove her back and stalked off the boat in front of her--without my husband. Oops.

Another funny story: There were two other couples getting married at the same time as Jason and me. We're all sitting and waiting for our marry-ers to come get us to start each of our own ceremonies. Jason and I are sitting on a couch holding hands and talking quietly. I don't know remember what couple #2 was doing, though I do remember they were very quiet and sitting rather stiffly. Couple #3 was on the other side of the room. She was sitting in one of the armchairs with her dress all fanned out around her; he was kneeling on the floor in front of her. They were staring fervently into each other's eyes and clasping hands so tightly I thought I could hear knuckles popping. Jason and I watched them for a while and they NEVER moved! They stared and stared and stared at each other with such a look of sappiness I will never forget it. It grossed me out and we will always have it as one of our wedding day memories. This isn't quite the kind of PDA I was describing before, but it was equally as disturbing--in a funny, I'm-always-going-to-make-fun-of-them sort of way.

Moral of the story: you now have a very clear idea of my take on PDA. The fact that I have written two articles about it (I wrote one in college that was actually quite funny--I think) tells you it's something that I've seen and thought about probably more that I should have. One more opinion from me you didn't ask for.

The Sum of All Fears

A not-so-funny-to-me-but-funny-to-everyone-else-incident inspired this post last night. We had just gotten Troy to bed and were settling down to finish a movie in the basement (where our TV lives). I was sitting on the floor in a banana chair and Jason was in the big chaise lounger. Here I am minding my own business, trying to watch the rest of Robert Downey Jr.'s Sherlock Holmes performance, enjoying myself... and out scuttles a HUGE hobo spider from under the TV stand. All I can do is take two hyperventilating gasps and point at it while jumping onto the computer chair and gasping, "Right there!"

**ALERT! ALERT!** Right now, at this very moment, while I'm typing--right now! out races another gargantuan hobo!!! From under the computer desk, where my feet have been! It just made a beeline towards my baby's feet. I grabbed the first thing I could find (Troy's Little Einstein DVD case) pushed Troy out of the way and whacked the life out of it. I grabbed Troy and whatever else I could carry and we ran upstairs, never to return. The carcass is still smushed into the floor. That'll be Jason's job when he gets up, as I'm still shaking too badly to do much. **END OF ALERT**

Anyway, Jason, always my knight in bug-killing armor, armed with the shoe of vengeance and wadded tissue of death, immediately knows what I'm freaking out about and moves deftly into action. (I believe he used the same DVD case I just did). One more spider put out of my misery and flushed, never to show its arachnid legginess again.

There are poisonous spiders everywhere and I'm scared, borderline phobic, of all of them. However, I am particularly disturbed by hobos. They look like this:

Even searching online and saving this picture has made my heart rate skyrocket and made me want to blow chunks. These effers are aggressive, fast, poisonous, and exceptionally sinister looking. I do not go anywhere in my house without scanning the floor, walls and ceiling for creepy crawlies. There are certain places in our basement storage room that I don't even go near for fear of seeing (and subsequently having to do battle with) bugs. Every little tickle on my skin, shadow, or inconsistent groove in the carpet is a potential spider. I spray the inside and outside of my home with anti-bug poison religiously and after these two encounters I will be re-spraying and also throwing a bug bomb down in the basement tonight.

The fact that I have a physical reaction to these creatures leads me to believe that I'm not just being girly about bugs. I hyperventilate, my heart rate goes through the roof, I get sick to my stomach, my eyes tear up, my arms and hands tremble for many minutes after encounters... I can't even pick up and dispose of dead bugs. Jason is such a gentleman to never tease me about my fear or to wave the dead ones in front of my face. I appreciate this so much. I'm not a fearful person; I'm a bit of a thrill seeker to be honest, but we're all allowed our one thing. Spiders and a few other choice creepies are mine. After the one making out to eat my son's foot a minute ago--this means war. Or avoidance, whichever keeps them away from me and mine.

Space: The-Final-Frontier-in-a-Galaxy-Far-Far-Away-Danger-Will-Robinson!

With the launch of the last shuttle up to space the other day, there's something that came to me that Jason's been saying for months now. Given the current state of our economy, and the world economy for that matter, Jason keeps saying, (imagine semi-yelling and a few fist pounds) "If I were in charge, the first thing I'd do is scrap NASA!" My first instinct was, "No! NASA's in charge of space!" Since then, when it's brought up, I've tended to flip-flop around on my opinion, as I'm sure I'll do here.

Against NASA: It doesn't really do anything. When's the last time the discoveries about the nature of space have helped us here at home? Has that red dwarf millions of light-years away told us how to better harness our natural resources? Have sunspots spelled out a secret way to end child hunger? Did the pluto-ing of Pluto help midgets feel taller? What I'm getting at is that the funds alloted to NASA (which is A LOT!) could be put to much better use here on our home planet. Money spent on researching black holes and dying stars should be put towards the federal deficit, into (necessary) committees that have been nixed, help to lower taxes, or into education, for example.

For NASA: But space is cool...

Against NASA: It's not like were in an arms race with the Soviets anymore. Who are we competing with, and why are we competing in space? Americans have already proved that we're better and ballsier than everyone else--many times over.

For NASA: But space is cool.

Against NASA: Who wants rocket scientists to make money actually working on rockets?! Put them to work elsewhere; somewhere that will benefit other earth-bound organizations. With all my sarcasm, I honestly have no idea where a rocket scientist would work. In the automotive industry designing cool, futuristic cars? Teaching about rocket science as a lost art in community colleges? Government energy programs? Who knows... In all my infinite compassion, I don't give a hoot where they'd work. I'm sure someone else will figure that out.

For NASA: Space is coooooooooool!!! I took an Astronomy 101 class in college and, while I didn't enjoy all that math stuff, I learned a lot about the awesome things that happen in space. Dying stars, galaxies, gaseous nebulas... All things that give us a glimpse of God's awe-inspiring creations. We recently attended a photography presentation of collages taken by Hubble. It was ama-za-zing! Huge systems billions of miles away, millions of galaxies in one snapshot, the colors, the energy, all those molecular interactions caught by a human-made telescope. It's humbling to see how truly small we are.

Considering the great Classic-style debate we've just taken part in, I have some solutions. They shall be implemented straight away, saith the Great Liz.

1. Scrap most of NASA. Get rid of the shuttle programs (done!). Unfortuately the cool profession that about 47% of kids growing want to be some day, astronauts, will become almost obsolete.
2. Keep overseers/maintainers/regulators for the satellites in orbit.
3. Keep a committee of people in charge of making sure asteroids aren't going Armageddon all up in our bizness.
4. Keep Hubble to take cool pics, but decrease the number of astronomists to analyze all the deep space happenings. Things happening that far away aren't affecting the needs of Earth at this point in time.
5. Keep the "aeronautics" part to help us become even more efficient while buzzing around on our little blue marble.

My point! Focus on the needs of those who live here on Earth! Spending millions and billions of dollars out there that could be spent here would be nothing but beneficial. But remember--space is cool. And I'm totally okay if they decide to keep programs, albeit on a smaller scale, to further our knowledge of the universe. This is a topic easily debated... please, discuss.

I Want to Live HERE:

And I want to live here FOREVER.

...With lots of money, a good tan, and a drink with one of those tiny umbrellas in it.

So Grateful for Good Neighbors

I complain about living in a tiny house, but our tiny house is in a great neighborhood. Our church group is awesome and our neighbors are even awesomer.

We live right next door to a little old lady and her older, single daughter. We try to help her with her yard and shoveling snow in the winter and she's always so cute when she calls us to say thank you. Jason helped her prune her trees last week and she comes over a few days later with a whole bag of strawberry shortcake fixins' for us as thanks. (We never look for thank you's, but I'm not complaining about strawberry shortcake!) She doesn't have a sprinkler system so we see her outside all the time during the summer watering her yard and sweeping sweeping sweeping her driveway. She loves Troy and is always up for a short conversation.

On our other side is an older couple. They work at the Museum of Idaho part-time and we see the husband outside all the time as well. He's kind of a quirky guy but I have never had a neighbor so willing to give of his time and resources for us. I would say that he does some little act of service for us most days. When they first moved in last year he told us he had every tool imaginable and that we were welcome to them should we ever need to borrow. Since then he's snowblowed our driveway, edged our lawn, helped us winterize our sprinklers, and helped stabilize our fence (which is due to blow away any day now). While he was looking at the fence he noticed that the latch on our gate is broken/missing and decided to also fix that for us. I had a recent breakthrough with his wife that I was so excited about. Whenever I see her I try to wave and say hello, but she never responds. I don't know if she's self-conscience about her weight or what... A few weeks ago she, out of the blue, came over and told us Troy was welcome to pick flowers out of their yard. Since then she's initiated hellos and short conversations a few times. Hooray!!

We have another little old lady across the street that loves the rhubarb out of our backyard. I took her over a huge bag a few weeks ago (we're not big rhubarb fans) and she was so excited. It looks like I'll be transplanting some of my plant into her backyard later this summer when I dig mine out. She likes to come across the street and chat while we're outside. She has this cute little shitzu dog that Troy likes to pet.

We have a few neighbors that haven't been interested in being too friendly. To each his own, right?

I just think back to our apartment-dwelling days and how miserable it was sharing walls with other families, some of whom were NOT pleasant. I could go on for an hour about horrible experiences we had with neighbors, but that's for another post. I'm just glad we don't have to deal with that crap anymore; instead we get to make friends and be happy in our little spot.

Woe is Me!

This is somewhat of a boohoo post. Start playing world's smallest violin background music. As most of my family is well aware, I am a severe allergy sufferer. I'll go into the boogery details in a minute, but first, here are some stats:

• About 55% of adults test positive for at least one allergen.
• Allergic rhinitis (nasal allergies) affects up to 30% of adults and 40% of children.
• From 2000-2005, the cost of treating allergic rhinitis went from $6 billion to more than $12 billion, with more than half of that being spent on prescription meds.
• It's estimated that allergic rhinitis affects more than 60 million people in the US.
• www.aaaai.org

I have been suffering from allergies from day one. I've seen doctors, taken the meds, been on shots, moved around, and have never experienced relief. I am allergic to any plant that lives outside (and cats), which means I'm doomed wherever I go. My symptoms include swollen, running, itching eyes; itchy, burning throat; boogery nose; sneezing; coughing; sinus headaches; clogged ears; fatigue... all at the SAME TIME! Also, when I was a teenager I developed growths in my nose, that, when inflamed, swell up and make it impossible to inhale or exhale (so blowing is hard). Great mental image... So, yes, I am as miserable as I sound. Last year, I had to stop driving because I couldn't see through my running, swollen eyes. I live with boxes of tissues in every room. It's hard for me to give Troy the attention he needs (especially when he wants to be outside). Sleeping at night is near impossible with a swollen nose and sore throat.

I had a visit with our local allergist last summer and that didn't go well. Not only was the doc rude and unsympathetic, he was also unwilling to work with my budget which means there was absolutely no way I could afford to even get tested. (Really?! It costs how many thousands of dollars to have a scratch skin test done?!) None of the sample meds he gave me made a dent. He lectured me on things I've known for 15 years now. Fast forward to this summer, I've already gotten so desperate for relief that I scheduled an appointment to see an Ear, Nose and Throat doc that says he also does allergy testing/treatment. I'm hoping he can do something about my swollen nose and maybe that will help with some of my other symptoms. Hopefully he has something positive to tell me. And it also helps my medical insurance deductible is already met from my gallbladder surgery in January.

The reason I'm posting this is because misery loves company, right? I don't know if anyone reads this page, but if you do I could use some advice--what's worked for you? Has anyone tried homeopathic allergy remedies? What locales are good for allergy sufferers? Are you as miserable as I am?

I sympathize with anyone who is chronically ill--it affects every aspect of your life. Come complain to me! I experience the WORST of EVERY symptom, so I can provide good understanding if no one around you quite gets it. Love to all!

Summer Is...

green trees

hot sun, cool breeze

open windows

ponytails

CCR

naps

swimming

neighbor kids playing night games

picnics

sodas

taking walks

shorts and flipflops

tennis

smell of sunscreen

sound of lawn mowers

soccer games

patriotism

seashells

feeding the ducks

BBQ's

reading on the porch

naked baby buns

strawberries

"Here comes the sun, do do do do..."

a feeling of contentedness

lemonade

no school

reggae

floating the river

otter pops

sandcastles at the beach

vacations

thunderstorms with the windows open

fresh flowers

block parties

melting ice cream cones

smiles!

Count Your Blessings

Our little family is going to be hit with some rough times a little later this year. Job hunting for Jason and me has been a complete disappointment. Jason applied to be a summer school teacher (a position that was about 99% guaranteed once his application was in), however someone at the school district office dropped the ball and didn't submit his application to the next higher-up. So he's out a summer job, and, subsequently, much needed fundage. I have been putting in job applications since October of LAST YEAR for both full- and part-time jobs to no avail. Apparently a Bachelor's degree and previous work experience doesn't count for much anymore. (Seriously...I'm not qualified to be an admin assistant?!) Also, with all the state's education budget cuts, Jason's district is having teachers take five or six furlough days. This is a difference of about $100 on each paycheck--which is a lot for us. Dental insurance is also being cut for family members; they've nixed a committee that Jason sits on for a stipend; the conference he normally attends in the summer for a stipend is booked full.

Our financial woes seem endless right now and it looks like our belts will be pulled even tighter come September. It's amazing how these financial problems are coming and not once have I felt panicky. I'm worried, of course; it would be stupid of me to not be. It's on my mind every waking moment of the day about how we're going to pay to get the brakes replaced or make sure Troy has dental coverage, etc, etc, etc... We're commanded by God in the Bible (Malachi chapter 3 to be exact) to pay tithes and offerings to His church. If we do so God will "open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it." We see the blessings of faithfully paying our tithing often--several times a year in fact. I know for an absolute fact that we may have hard times but the Lord will ALWAYS provide.

For example, I have been to several job interviews within the past month and none have worked out. I was sitting in bed fuming about a week ago because I was promised that I would hear back about a position the day before and hadn't. It was a job I was fairly certain I would get and I was upset that I didn't have any contact information for the interviewer and that they hadn't called in a timely manner. I still haven't heard anything. Anyway, I'm sitting in bed furious to the point of tears and Jason gets a phone call. A good friend at work needs a nanny for her two youngest sons when school starts in August and does Liz want to do it? She pays well and it would allow me to stay at home with Troy. My tears of fury quickly turned to tears of gratitude for a Heavenly Father who knows the desires of our hearts. It makes me physically ill to think of sending Troy to daycare and that's what needs to be done if I'm to work outside the home full-time. There's a reason none of these jobs have worked out--there would be an even better opportunity for me to stay home and make a little extra to help make ends meet.

I am so grateful that the Lord has provided for us. We won't be rich, but we'll be able to get the bills paid.

Pooooooop

I've been having some serious issues with blogger lately. I finally figured out how to post (through Safari! Explorer won't do it for some reason.) and so I typed out my Brat Part II all out, just to have it not save. So I'm stuck trying to remember I said in my second installation about military life...

...

...not coming back anytime soon unfortunately.

We'll see if I can get back on the ball sometime soon. Again--poooooooooooop!

I'm a Brat, Part I

Some may argue that I'm a brat in more than one way. However, today I'll be discussing my military heritage. My mom has been suggesting for a long time that I write what it was like growing up as the child of a Marine. It is a different way of life than how most non-military kids grow up and I am having a hard time figuring out where to start. There are so many things I could go on and on about.

I guess I'll start with what it's like to be on a military base. Jason got his first taste of this when we visited my parents in Okinawa in 2007. The buildings are strictly functional. Most are low warehouse-types, all painted the same color, with big block lettering painted on as their "address." Office buildings are of the same type, except with windows. Amenities are also provided on base. Gyms are, of course, an important member of society and usually have everything one would want for working out. Mess halls (cafeterias) and fast food are dotted around, normally near the barracks and central places of work. Commissaries (grocery stores) are available for grocery shopping and there are normally small businesses such as tailors, barbers, bank branches, recreation stops, and hobby stores. Housing is available for rent so families can live on the base.

The Marines themselves are a sight. Unless they are PTing (physical training) they are in their camis. (ooh la la) Boots, pants, jackets, covers (hats). Camis have each Marine's name and rank sewed and pinned on so everyone knows who everyone else is. Normally they are going about their respective work, though sometimes they stand in formation for drills or special occassions. Marines pride themselves on having the best physical fitness of any of the military branches. (And from what I've seen, it's true.) Group PT is a must and they also must pass regular fitness exams to make sure they're operating at their peak. Humping (don't laugh gutterheads, it means hiking with all their gear) is common and is a challenge especially for those in bootcamp and the infantry. My dad is great at keeping inter-military ribbing alive by pointing out how fat the Air Force and Army let their servicemen get. Granted, my dad works out almost everyday and is in better shape than ANYONE I know (not exaggerating!).

This is a Marine base in a nutshell. I miss the order and cami-clad young men; it gives me a bit of nostalgia when I go back to visit.

Hairy Situations

I know I'm not the only one out there that has to wax my eyebrows. Note: me waxing my eyebrows = cheapie Sally Hansen strips that you rub between your palms and then cut out your own shape. Every once in a while, Sally doesn't quite cut it (no pun intended) and I have pay for professional help.

The last time I had a salon experience, it was quite interesting. I'm always a little self-conscious going to the salon because it's normally very obvious why I'm there. One look at the lawn growing out of my forhead and the stylists whisk me to the back room and break out the weed-wacker, all the while hoping the shrapnel doesn't pierce their aprons. The stylist on this particular day was very friendly and had some good conversation. Eventually, she was comfortable enough to start telling me a little about her family. I learned that every member of her family is hairy. I got to hear the details about how they all (male and female alike) need to be waxed on a regular basis. It was at this point that I started wondering why it was taking so long to get my eyebrows done, and how in the world had she gotten on the subject of her family's, er, furry little problem? I start mm-hmming and uh-huhing hoping she'll figure out I just want to be done and have decent looking brows. Finally! She hands me the mirror and I see that she's done hardly ANYthing! She cleaned up the peripherals but nothing else. Now my dilemma: do I (1) tell her to keep going and fix it while hearing more about her family follicles, or (2) take it the way it is and run?

I ran.

$10+tip later, I'm sitting in front of my mirror with trusty Sally.

Another funny eyebrow saga: when I lived in Okinawa, I used to go to the salon on base to get my hair/brow care done. The first time I made an appointment to get my eyebrows tamed and I get this cute little, old Okinawan lady. I lay back and she goes to work. It ended up taking about 30 minutes to get done. She had used all of two wax strips and spent the remaining 25 minutes plucking, one by one, til I felt there were no brows left. Zip to a month later. I make another appointment. There're only about 500 ladies that work in the base salon, odds are I'll get someone different. NOPE! Same lady, same 30 minute process. **Mom, I believe you had the same experience with this lady?** So funny! She did a pretty good job, she just wasn't going to rush herself. I would hate for her to hurry and wax my entire face off.

TMI? Yes.

Funny? Yes.

Why? I looked in the mirror this morning and saw I'm in great need of a lumberjack. Preferably one with washboard abs--oh, and a chainsaw.

Love and Logic...My Way

I've been struggling with motherhood lately. It's no secret that Troy can be a challenge at times. He is extremely active and loves to push my buttons by doing things he knows he shouldn't. It sometimes takes hours for him to fall asleep for naps and bedtime. He screams and throws things when he's angry. If he is not supervised 100% of the time, then he finds something to cause major trouble. Sadly, I find myself wanting to be away, waiting for Jason to get home so I can be by myself, and even feel a little resentful at times. I've been job-hunting and job-applying for months now, to no avail. I feel tired, burned out, and a little bored. I'm tired of feeling this way, so I decided to get some outside help from an objective source. I turned to the trusty public library and borrowed Parenting with Love and Logic by Dr. Foster Cline and Jim Fay. I finished the book in less than a day and could probably stand to read it again.

I found several things I liked and agreed with. These things I will apply in our home to try to help our situation. There were also several things I did not agree with in principle and will stick to my guns about. Hopefully my conglomeration will be successful.

First, I really liked how the authors talked about God. They obviously believe in Him and believe He loves His children. They made some wonderfully logical assumptions that I would deem to be true, such as, "God gave all humans--His supreme creation--considerable freedom, and that includes the opportunity to goof up" and "The greatest gift we can give our children is the knowledge that with God's help, they can always look first to themselves for the answers to their problems." Nothing is possible without our Heavenly Father and I look to Him frequently for guidance and comfort.

Next, I agree that my goal should be to raise responsible children who are ready for the world when they leave the safety of our home. Cline and Fay's main argument is that we need to provide our kids with viable choices and let them choose. If we make all the choices for them then they don't learn how to think for themselves. This is something we've already employed with Troy. We started by giving him choices that didn't matter: Do you want to wear your Lightning McQueen pj's or your dinosaur pj's? Then we've moved up to choices that matter a little bit more: Do you want to visit Grandma and Grandpa or do you want to stay home and play with your toys? By giving him some control, he learns to think about options and consequences. When he's in trouble: Do you want quiet time in your room or on the chair in the living room? etc... A+ for me on this concept.

I also heartily enjoyed that parents should not pander to their kids being irresponsible. If the rule is to do chores before dinner, then they won't get dinner if the chores aren't completed. They will learn that not doing chores means being hungry. They also encourage parents to require payment for chores that are normally the kids' responsibility or to not "be available" to take them to their activities if they misbehave or are lazy. Go Team Parent!

The other of Cline and Fay's main arguments is all about natural consequences. If the child makes a bad choice, then let them live out the natural consequence of their action--but be empathic and non-rescuing. For example, if Troy decides to be mean to another kid and that kid punches him for it, then that's a natural consequence. (Although in Troy's defense, he's actually very friendly with other kids and great at sharing.) Parents should never punish, get angry, or lecture about the child's choice.

This is where I find the gray area of this parenting approach. The way they present it, it's almost laissez-faire. I believe that children have parents for a reason--to guide them when making decisions. Parents are there to keep their kids in line and teach them to be respectful, responsible people. I do not believe that it is a bad thing to (reasonably) punish their children for acting inappropriately. I also think that hiding your displeasure/anger from them is unhealthy. If they have done something that affects others negatively, then it is perfectly appropriate to be a little growl-ish with them.

I agreed with the "natural consequences" to a degree. If they know that they won't have clean underwear unless they run a load of laundry, then they'll learn real fast that it's a good idea to do their laundry. However, there are several instances I can think of where I don't agree with this concept. If Troy and a neighbor kid get into a physical confrontation, I'm not going to sit by and let it keep going and tell myself that he'll learn his lesson eventually. I'm going to break up the fight and dole out punishments as I see fit! Getting a black eye isn't going to teach him not to fight! This is where I think the parent needs to become Parent. There are situations that require parental interference, and not providing interference will only hurt the child.

I especially loathed the blurb on bullies towards the end of the book. According to Cline and Fay, parents should approach the subject with their kids by making the bully into a victim. (Although most bullies have some sort of dysfunction at home, it's no excuse for violent behavior.) They suggest "encouraging" kids by saying something like this: "Kids who are awful now often grow up to be good men and women. Pretty surprising, huh? Someday they'll be almost as mature as you! Luckily this is just a stage in their lives. I sure am proud of the way you handle it." What a bunch of BS. This is how we handle bullies at our house: stand up for yourself if you're being bullied, if they touch you then mission is a-go to hit back. Our children will have our full support in this. Parents should most definitely be involved when this kind of situation comes up.

Anyway, I'm done! I will most definitely pick and choose which concepts to apply to our home and pray for extra guidance. Reading this book gave me hope even if I didn't agree with everything. I'm not the only person struggling with my child's behavior. I love Troy with all my heart and I want the best for him. I praise him, I discipline him, I smile, hug and kiss. I hope my outlook will start to turn upwards as Troy responds positively to these behavior modifications. Wish me luck!

Cupcakes Anon

Hi...my name is Liz...

Hello, Liz.

...and I'm addicted to cupcakes.

My story: I used to be a normal person like everyone else. I work as a stay-at-home mom, I run errands, I go to church. One day I met the Cocoa Bean and Cupcake Cafe (the one over by Five Guys). It started off slow. One cupcake here, another a few weeks later. Then my need for the fix increased. Pretty soon I needed a hit at least once a week. I can tell you their menu and what cupcakes they serve on what days. I particularly crave the German Chocolate and the "Better than Whatever" flavors. Oh, and the Ultimate Brownie and Grasshopper. And the "Party in My Mouth."

Then I started on the hot chocolate...

It's been a hard road. I'm glad I'm facing my addiction. I've resolved to fight off my cravings by thinking of the consquences: I have to work out for how long to get rid of these calories?!

I know there are others suffering from this same addiction. I'm here for you if you need support; but don't ask for too much support because I'll probably end up telling you to go get us a few cupcakes to make us feel better.

The Skinny (or the Fat?) on Things

My husband met his goal of losing 40 pounds on Friday morning. Congratulations to him! He worked hard, made lifestyle changes, and has improved his well-being. I've been a little jealous because it has come off so quickly for him. If he goes to the gym he's pretty much guaranteed weight loss. I go to the gym...and I sweat (that's about it).

Friday was also payday, which means grocery day, which means Troy and I head to WallyWorld for some major shopping. When you enter the store there is a McDonald's right in front of you with a big glass window so you can gaze upon weary shoppers scarfing down their saturated fat allotment for the month. So I glanced inside (how can you not? clever marketing ploy, McD's) and next to the window was a morbidly obese person sitting in an electric cart chowing down on their supersized Big Mac and fries. Maybe their soda was diet? The rest of the meal sure wasn't. As you can gather, sometimes I tend to be a little hard-hearted in these situations, although I know everyone's thinking the same thing I am! Quit eating crap so it will be easier to lose weight and then you won't have to ride around on a scooter to get your groceries! Of course there are always underlying factors on why someone gains weight to begin with. I'm absolutely non-judgemental when it comes to that because I know first-hand that different life circumstances, medications, physiological issues, etc... can affect how a person gains or loses weight. It's no secret I have a few pounds (OK, 15) to lose. HOWEVER!...

OK, no more on that.

Fast forward an hour. Troy and I are cruising to our next pit stop (Sam's Club: where you can get a polish dog and large soda for $1.50!). A radio ad comes on for the newest miracle diet. It advertised that you can lose weight without diet and exercise just by taking a sip of some goo they've come up with. I've heard this ad many times before and it's always irked me. Are people so uneducated that they think they can be healthy WITHOUT watching their diet and getting quality exercise?! People probably DO lose weight with this goo, but do they keep it off and is it building up the rest of their body as well? Probably not. I'm pretty educated when it comes to exercise and nutrition. I've done a lot of research on the subject and I (thankfully) come from a very health-conscience family. The only way to really get healthy, and stay healthy for that matter, is by sticking to a good diet and exercise regimen.

So why do people fall in the goo? Because it's easy. Why don't people exercise and eat healthier? Because it's HARD! One of the reasons Jason has been so successful with his weight loss is because he started keeping a food diary and counting calories. He realized how much he was eating and subsequently cut back. It was hard! He started incorporating healthier foods into his diet and skipping the sweets. It was hard! He decided to start pushing himself at the gym: running miles and lifting weights. Say it with me: It was hard! And look at him now... All of that hard work has paid off wonderfully. He says he will never go back to weighing what he did because he can feel the health benefits. And he looks good. I've watched his self-esteem climb mountains recently. I'm not complaining at all about his muscle-y arms and toned legs *wink wink*. I am so grateful that he decided to completely upend his way of approaching food and exercise and I'm proud of him for making that decision on his own. Now if only my body would get with it and start losing every time I had a workout... ah, to dream.

All this writing has tuckered me out. Where're my Cheez-Its?

This is What Happens When You're Cooped Up:

"Ahem."

*cough, cough*

"Is this thing on?"

Welcome to my new place! I know you're probably wondering, "Why does she need another blog?" Simple really. As a wife, mom, member of society, and potential supermodel I have decided it would be constructive for me to have a place write. Lots of thoughts swirl through my head (surprise, surprise) throughout my days and I don't have much adult contact--and I mean that in the cleanest possible way. I spent hundreds of hours writing to get my degree and I loved it. Then I got my degree... haven't been much of a typer since. My goals for this blog are for me. I honestly have no qualms about who wants to read it and who doesn't; in short, I don't really care. This is for me to vent my thoughts, gratitude, questions, and, yes, even my frustrations at times. And maybe to occasionally share cool things I've found. If you choose to read, good on you! I will keep our family blog of course. Troy's a lot better looking than I am and he does cute things so I figure I should keep it up. (Our family blog is private, so if you'd like an invite send me your email address and a background check, and I'll run it through our extensive screening process that includes clicking "Send Invite" on my blogger settings page.)

I'm looking forward to writing again and hope my skills improve to what they were back in the day. I'm naturally sarcastic and walk a fine line between "realistic optimism" and pessimism at times. Sometimes it's funny, other times it's not. Good luck to me!