Rant of the Week

I just gotta put this out there: I'm so sick of pop culture!!! Justin Bieber, Twilight, and Lady Gaga all need to lay down and go away for good. Really?? People are so obsessed with all these "celebrities" and fads. It's embarrassing to see full-grown women screaming about how hot this 17-year-old BOY is. And then I have to automatically assume people think I am also into this stuff and that makes me even more embarrassed. I feel like I have to publicly denounce all this crap and I'm glad my husband knows where I stand ("No, honey, I don't think scrawny, white vampires that get all sparkly in the sun are attractive.") And when you turn on the news---it's all you hear about! What outrageous outfit sparked controversy, that couple is divorcing two hours after the reception ended, that one can't keep them self out of rehab/jail, and oh-my-gosh she's pregnant! no wait, she's not... I'm waiting for the day when the Sexiest Man Alive is a real-life non-actor from the suburbs.

The news in general is very negative, so I love to read stories of people who are making positive differences in their communities and in the world at large. Most of the time they're not trying to get on the front page (most of the time they're not, see page D12). I read a story a few months ago about a man who saw a child being forced into a van. He jumped in his truck, took off, and eventually rescued the kidnapped child. What a hero! I certainly hope someone like that is around should my child ever be in trouble. I think of all the people who donate time out of their busy lives to volunteer at hospitals, animal shelters, and soup kitchens. They make a difference.

My dream job is to work for an international humanitarian company. I'd love to be able to provide assistance and necessities to those in regions not as blessed as ours. My plans for after graduating college were to join the Peace Corps and fly off to some obscure corner of the world to provide drinking water and vaccines for kids. Of course, plans change when you get married. ;-) I'm at a depressing point where I feel like I'm not doing anything productive in the world and look forward to the day when I can donate time, money and supplies to people in need.

To loop it all back, there are plenty of famous people out there who have foundations, or donate their money to causes, or are charitable ambassadors. Good for them. They're setting a good example. It's all the other BS I'm tired of. It seems the masses nowadays are so easily grabbed and brainwashed into trends and will believe they should be involved in the moment because the media says so. Political commentators have cult/sheep followings and half the "news" on my Yahoo! page is what gown Kate wore to the Queen's party. I wish it were easier to filter through all that and get to the real stuff. *Sigh* Oh, and did you hear that Kourtney Kardashian is pregnant again?

...To the Death

Paul Ezra Rhoades of Idaho Falls brutally killed three people, two young women and a young man, in 1987. Today he was executed by the State of Idaho. It's Idaho's first execution in 17 years.

Normally I like to stay away from political topics. Things get heated, I tend to hold grudges against those who disagree with me, a lot of times I don't really care about the topic at hand, I don't like when people repeatedly shove their "opinions" down your throat, the sheep mentality... BUT I do think this is an interesting topic: you've got Bible thumpers sitting on both sides, liberals and conservatives arguing over terms like "humane" and "justice", and victims' loved ones struggling between finding closure and reliving the nightmare.

John Grisham has written a few books revolving around the death penalty. The latest I've read is The Confession, where the State of Texas executes the wrong man after the real killer comes forward. Whether or not you're for the death penalty, it makes you think. It made me wonder how many times the wrong person has been executed while the true culprit gets to live. I think it happens rarely, if at all, with all our wonderful advances in technology. Things like DNA evidence, microscopic details that can be computer analyzed, and pyscho-analyses have come such a long long way since even 15 years ago. In a society that uses the death penalty, it's bound to happen unfortunately. This book made me feel sad for innocent men and women who went to their "justified" deaths for crimes they did not commit. On the flip side, it made me feel that there are crimes so heinous that deserve death.

Back to Rhoades: they were grisly murders and I'm not going to go into detail about them here. I ache for the families that had to endure the pain of knowing their loved one had been terrorized and in pain before dying. I feel so sorry that these innocent, young lives were cut short by a sadistic, psychotic druggie. What would they be doing now, I wonder? Rhoades has been sitting in jail, eating and getting fat, for free, for twenty-four years. They knew he was the serial killer they were looking for when they caught him. There was a comment on our local news' website that said something like, "Justice was served when they caught him." I heartily disagreed with that.

I don't want to go into much detail on whether I'm for or against gettin' the chair, but I did want to lay out a few thoughts I've had the past few days. Whether or not citizens of the USofA believe the death penalty is right, it comes down to the fact that many states (and other nations) have adopted it as a legal way to uphold the law. Thus, it is the states' responsibility to uphold the laws and punishments set forth. If you commit a crime, it's understood that there are certain repercussions for when you get caught. Execution has been deemed appropriate in many cases and it is the states' prerogative to carry it out.

Also, I believe that executions serve two purposes, both of which I will say I agree with. One: As awful as it sounds, it serves as retribution. Vengeance, revenge, whatever you want to call it. If you want to get down to the nitty-gritty, any form of punishment, whether it be incarceration, community service, or probation, is one form or another of retribution. Criminals forfeit their rights and, subsequently, owe society a debt when they break a law. Execution is, of course, the extreme and is maintained for certain horrible crimes. If I had lost a family member to someone like Rhoades I'm pretty sure I would want to see the criminal dead.

Actually, I'm 1000% sure.

Two: Execution removes the threat. While these criminals are alive there is always the possibility, however remote, that they will be free someday, somehow. A while ago, there were a few inmates from one of the prisons here in Idaho that escaped. Scar-ree. Inmate escapes happen more often than we care to think about and whether or not they're caught again is moot. Early probation is often given to criminals for good behavior, which means they're OUT, amongst the public. With serial killers, rapists, pedophiles, etc... there's the possibility that they will hurt someone else if they're not being supervised and behind bars. I believe that those sentenced to execution are done so in part because the jury believes them to be a threat to others if they remain alive.

Our justice system seems to have gone down the sad path of victimizing the criminals and trying to make the victims into they-had-it-coming's. There are arguments and studies out everywhere for and against genetic predispositions to alcoholism, violence, and the like. This is another opinion I have no problem exerting: I think genetic predisposition is a crock of sh**. It all comes down to people have the CHOICE. We all have an instinctive buzzer inside us that tells us when we're committing wrong. Rhoades had the choice to kill or not kill (or rape, or maim) those innocent people. I can choose whether or not to snort that line, an abusive parent consciously makes the decision to harm their child.

It's all about self control. Lack of control brings consequences on all levels. I can't say I feel sorry for people whose lack of control harms others. They made the choice, and in doing so, chose their fate.

So... people can argue all they want about the death penalty being wrong or right. It doesn't matter. Our laws have deemed it legal (therefore, executions cannot be said to be illegal) and a proper consequence for certain actions. If you don't like it, move.

To Be or Not To Be... Lazy?

I think the fact that I haven't written in two months argues in behalf of TO BE. I had originally planned on writing twice a week for this blog so I could have something do for myself, that was just my own thoughts and opinions. Alas, time gets away from all of us, especially when we're busy NOT being lazy. There was an article in one of my magazines that inspired thoughts on this post. From Elder Robert D. Hales in the LDS church magazine The Ensign:

"I remember a young couple just out of college. One parent gave them a home; the other parent gave them furnishings and a new car. They had everything in the world given to them. Within three years they were divorced. They hadn't worked and sacrificed. They had leaned on each other and on their parents as a crutch, had crippled themselves, and hadn't grown. They hadn't learned the hard part."

I abhor laziness. I believe people should work to support themselves financially, mentally and physically. I don't believe in sitting in front of the TV; I don't agree with about 90% of the welfare system; I don't believe in others being obligated to fill your shoes as well as their own. This is an extreme. I acknowledge that there are always exceptions, however exceptions aren't normally made because of laziness. In fact, the only reason I can think of is an exception made due to a medical reason: disability, injury, old age, etc... The quote above started me thinking of everything I do for myself, by myself. I don't think that all situations in which people receive handouts are going to resolve themselves in something as extreme like divorce, but I do think that his quote rings true. If we don't work and learn the hard way, when will we learn?

For example, I babysit full-time. I took the job thinking it would be an easy way to work AND be lazy at the same time. I'd just let them play all day, provide some entertainment, snacks, tralala go home. It has proven not to be easy and conducive to laziness at all unfortunately. I digress... The kids I babysit are the youngest of 5. Their family dynamics are much different than ours. They play differently, talk differently, the works. Among this, they don't do much of anything for themselves. Their parents and siblings do absolutely EVERYTHING for them. Taking off shoes, cleaning up toys, using manners and the like are things we do on a normal basis at our house and I think it's been a bit of a culture shock for them. I MAKE them do things for themselves. I do not allow whining; I expect them to use their p's & q's; they speak to me respectfully; they do not fight and yell over toys. There are consequences for not handling yourself properly. I have seen major improvements in their demeanor since they've started at our house, the biggest thing is that they're more independent. I'm pretty sure they like doing things like big boys, all by themselves.

As adults it's the same process. We need to do things on our own to really learn the lesson. My mom has always said there are two kinds of people in this world: Givers and Takers. Givers are normally those who have learned their lessons on independence and seek to help those who are still learning, and those who enjoy giving for the enhancement of others and themselves. Takers, I've discovered, haven't quite gotten there. (Sometimes these personality traits are personality quirks, there's nothing we can do to change them, no matter the lessons learned or un-learned.) There is a balance between giving and taking, no one has to fall completely on one side or the other. My mom and I are both Givers. We feel uncomfortable taking because we're afraid it might inconvenience someone, or put them out, even when they're offering. It makes it hard for other Givers if we're always unwilling to accept what they want to give us. Slowly but surely, I have been trying to get better at taking. I am grateful for the Givers who have blessed my life. People who are constant Takers have the expectation that Givers are always going to be around. They expect that they can ask for what they want and take it, whether it be time, money, space, or other things. The extreme Givers feel obligated to meet this expectation.

I make a conscience effort to give via support. When I make the kids do something on their own that they haven't done before, I show them how and then encourage them from the sidelines, praising them when they've accomplished the feat. I think this could be replicated on all aspects of life. (I'm not trying to set myself up as a perfect mom or babysitter--I am far, far, far from that.) People will learn to support themselves through their hard times and come out stronger and wiser for it. They will like that feeling of independence and the satisfaction that comes from, "Yeah, I totally did that." And all us Givers can give them a high-five and slap on the back, tell them how proud we are, and welcome them to the club.